


Four Days

by AmbyaSolar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt Remus Lupin, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, POV Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:54:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28460091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbyaSolar/pseuds/AmbyaSolar
Summary: Four days after Lily and James' funeral, Remus is left alone to remember and wonder how things turned out so wrong.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 1





	Four Days

**Author's Note:**

> Hii ~
> 
> Any writing in italics is a memory

It had been four days since the funeral. It had been four days since the last of his friends had been lowered into the ground, leaving Remus all alone in the world. It had been four days since Remus last left his room. It wasn’t supposed to end like this; they had finally won the war- a war that had been looming over them for the better part of the last two decades. While countless people up and down the country celebrated a brighter future, one without fear and constant vigilance, Remus sat alone wondering if he could have possibly prevented the deaths of his friends or if he at least could have done anything more to help them. It wasn’t to say that Remus didn’t play a huge part in the war. He too came close to losing his life multiple times over the past three years since they had all left school. Yet here he was, the only one left to drink away the horrors of the past few years.

_“Bloody hell Moony, you look like you’ve just lost a fight with a cheese grater!”_

_Remus sighed; he had hoped he would be able to sneak in unnoticed but the recent addition of the wards around the flat made it difficult to enter unannounced. James seemed to have been waiting up anyway._

_“Sorry Prongs, you shouldn’t have waited up for me. I wasn’t even sure if I would make it back tonight. You should have stayed with Lily instead of wasting your last evening here”_

_James looked up sharply at that before continuing to gather various items to treat Remus’ injuries. The silence in the flat a sharp contrast after the battle Remus had just took part in. Remus made his way to the couch feeling slightly on edge, not being able to put his finger on what was making him feel so unsettled. He glanced around the flat while James got to work on treating his injuries. The flat was absolutely silent. No background hum of the radio or even sounds of movement in any of the rooms. Remus couldn’t even hear any other heartbeats apart from James._

_“Prongs, where are Padfoot and Wormtail?”_

_James stilled mid reach towards a potion and turned slowly while he considered what to say next._

_“There was an attack down near the ministry, there were a lot of muggles in the area. Nearly everyone has been called down to help.”_

_Remus nodded and was about to get up to go to his room before the realisation hit him._

_“James, why are you still here?”_

_He had an odd look on his face at that and had paled considerably not being able to meet his eye._

_“I’ve been given a different mission from Dumbledore. He seems to think there’s a spy in the Order…”_

_James trailed off; guilt evident on his face making it clear despite not being able to say it out loud._

_“You think it’s me don’t you. That’s why you were told to wait up for me in case I let something slip.”_

_There was a vague ringing sound in his ears as Remus fell back onto the couch. He couldn’t believe this. Dumbledore himself sent him on this mission to the werewolf packs around London in the hopes of convincing them to join the Order instead of siding with Voldemort. He had nearly been successful but at the last moment a young newly turned fool started spouting some nonsense about Voldemort promising them better rights under his rule that the Ministry could never give them. It had turned south very quickly after that. The other wolves deciding to risk Voldemort’s rule than joining the Order and taking up Dumbledore’s offer. Had this whole thing been a test then? Had he been sent to recruit the werewolves or had Dumbledore sent him there to test if his loyalties still remained with the Order after listening to the werewolves? Had he not proved his loyalty and did his friends really doubt his loyalties after everything they had been through?_

_“Moony, nobody is accusing you of anything. Padfoot and Lily nearly started throwing hexes once your name came up. You know Dumbledore, the old git has more secrets than anyone, he was probably just crossing things off his own list by testing everyone in an attempt to find the traitor.”_

_James had settled beside him by this point and had gently held onto his arm likely to prevent him from running off. He still couldn’t look at Remus but had set his face into mask of calm._

_“Prongs, I swear to you. I have no idea on who could possibly be the traitor. In fact, I haven’t even heard anything important for weeks since I’ve been away. I couldn’t possibly be the traitor or there would have been no leaks of important information while I was away”_

_“I know mate, I believe you.”_

_James finally looked up at him and to Remus’ relief he was smiling. There was no way he could betray his friends. They were the only people who had stood by him. Not only had they stayed despite knowing the truth about his condition, but they had gone out of their way to learn an incredibly dangerous- not to mention illegal- type of magic while they were still in school just to make his life easier. It was unthinkable, he would die before he would betray his friends._

It had been four days since he had to say his final goodbye to James and Lily before he could bare to even think of leaving his room. As he stood alone in the graveyard, he wondered what had become of Harry. In the first few days he had been consumed by grief and could not spare a thought for anyone other than James and Lily and Peter. He desperately tried to keep all thoughts of Sirius at a distance. There would be time for that later. The thought of Sirius betraying them all was just too much. It was beyond comprehension; he had loved them all so much yet still chose to turn in the end. It made no sense and likely never would. But Remus couldn’t think of him yet, not while it was all so fresh in his mind. If he thought of Sirius then he would be forced to remember all the good times too, the promises of a life filled with laughter and happiness after the war. A warm home to go to at the end of the day and a boring kind of normalcy that those who had endured unbearable things could only dream of. Those promises were the only things keeping him going through the war and now it was all gone- Sirius was gone. And Remus was left here all alone with the cold hollowing out his bones and filling him with a heavy sense of tiredness. Tiredness of a life that held no meaning any longer. But as he looked down at James and Lily’s graves, he couldn’t help but remember Harry. The young boy who had looked at him and not seen his scars or monstrous nature or apparent weakness. Instead he looked and saw only his Uncle Moony who was all too happy to put up with all his games and read him endless stories. That sweet boy who had smiled so brightly every time he had entered the house, who had just started to be able to call out his name excitedly.

_“I can’t stay long Lily; Mad Eye is expecting me to report to headquarters soon and he wants a full report on last week’s mission”_

_Lily looked up from the cupcakes she was icing to fix Remus with one of her fierce glares._

_“Really Remus, you just got here. You can’t leave before dinner. James has finally been able to convince Peter to come round and Sirius is also supposed to join us for dinner. Plus, Harry has finally started to get the hang of words, you never know, he might say his first word today and you do not want to miss that!”_

_As if summoned by his name, Harry’s cries could be heard from his room and lily left to go and bring him down. Just as Lily re-entered the room with Harry, the front door could be heard opening and the voices of James, Sirius and Peter could be heard through the open door. At the sight of Remus Harry immediately brightened and held his arms out in a clear signal to be held. Remus immediately picked Harry up, secretly being thrilled whenever Harry picked him over any other adult to be held by. He dreaded the day that Harry would have to be told about his Lycanthropy and be forced to watch those adoring bright eyes be taken over by fear._

_“Mo… Mo… Moony!”_

_As harry babbled excitedly, Remus and Lily looked on in shock before Lily grinned and called out to James to hurry. James, Sirius and Peter ran into the kitchen after hearing Lily’s shout, scanned the room for danger._

_“James you will not believe what Harry just did! Come on Harry, repeat what you just said”_

_Harry surprisingly did repeat what he just said as if he understood but that may have just been him repeating the only word he could at that moment in time to the smiling faces of the adults around him._

_“Prongs your son is a traitor! Harry, you were supposed to say Padfoot first! Come one, it’s really easy, just two syllables. Pad-Foot!”_

_Sirius ran forward to scoop up Harry out of Remus’ arms, but he was smiling too broadly to really be annoyed. Remus couldn’t help but laugh at Sirius behaving so childishly. During moments like this it was easy to forget there was a war going on outside. He could almost pretend they were just normal 21-year olds enjoying an afternoon together to catch up. This was how it was supposed to be, no war, no destruction and definitely no dark lord threatening all of lives._

Remus stood resolutely. He may not have been able to save James and Lily, but he owed it to them to look after Harry. He would look after him and love him as his own. He would grow up happy and safe and free. He definitely wouldn’t be staying with Lily’s magic hating sister and her family. He would be miserable there.

“Don’t worry Prongs, I’m going to look after him. I swear- no I solemnly swear it. I couldn’t help you and Lily, but Harry needs me now. I won’t let Dumbledore or anyone stop me this time from doing what’s right.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey,  
> As I post this this it's still 2020 for me. Turns out there's still time for just a little bit more angst! It is my first fic so sorry if its terrible :) There may be some errors I missed but oh well.  
> It has been an awful year for everyone but lets hope the next one treats us a bit kinder.  
> I might end up writing a follow up to this with Remus rescuing Harry but that all depends on how busy I end up in the new year with my uni work.  
> Any comments are appreciated :)


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